This picture was taken about 1980 when my parents first lived with the people native to the Amazon jungle of Bolivia. A child was reaching toward me, and I was reaching toward her. It is a picture of my heart, reaching forward but also hesitating, wanting to be sure. Almost four decades later, age 42, I write to talk about the journey of an MK into current life. There is searching, there are answers, there are mysteries. I write to show the Light I have, and to find Light myself, because God is always there, not unknowable but a far greater Light than I can know in my lifetime.

Slow and Steady

  It’s been six months and a week or so since my Dad passed away. Just after school ended last May, I packed a large suitcase and took my kids to Montana for six weeks.  We’ve been home for almost three weeks now, and oddly it feels almost as if we never left Mississippi.  More …

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Still, Silent, Resolute

  I imagine the men standing in the bottom of this boat still, silent, resolute. They are sure of their task and unflinching. They don’t give the orders; they take them. I don’t see them singing, seeking reassurance, lifting others up. Whatever they needed for this task had already been stored within them. Determination. Confidence. …

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Cover Me

    “Abrígame Señor” was written on the Snoopy pin he gave me in highschool.  “Cover me, Lord,” it meant, or keep me safe, keep me warm. I put the pin on a light jacket I had permanently borrowed from his closet (long enough arms).  I stopped wearing the jacket long ago, but the Spanish …

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He walks with me

I told my mom if someone was writing a blog like this, I would read it. Why?  Why read something so downhearted?  So fixated on one aspect of life? Because I need to acknowledge what I’m going through, and yet I can’t look too closely at the reality.  Just like the wake for my Grandma …

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Weep and Lament

  I can see it now.  They are sitting around together listening to their favorite teacher, mentor, friend.  They are comfortable knowing He is there, He has the answers.  They aren’t always sure what He’s doing or what He’s talking about, but He is a capable leader, one to be trusted, He has led them …

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A Time to Mourn

  I have tried to limit the requirements I make of myself in this grieving process. A few weeks into it, after Jason had gone back to Bolivia, we were talking about how we were handling our emotions, and what we thought we would do in the future.  We are believers in Christ so there …

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Books on Grieving

    I plan to read two books on grieving.  “I Didn’t Know What to Say” by David Knapp was given to my mom.  And a friend recommended “Grieving Forward” and has a copy for me.  But researching grief or discussing the grieving process in meetings with others feels too blunt, too honest for my …

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