This picture was taken about 1980 when my parents first lived with the people native to the Amazon jungle of Bolivia. A child was reaching toward me, and I was reaching toward her. It is a picture of my heart, reaching forward but also hesitating, wanting to be sure. Almost four decades later, age 42, I write to talk about the journey of an MK into current life. There is searching, there are answers, there are mysteries. I write to show the Light I have, and to find Light myself, because God is always there, not unknowable but a far greater Light than I can know in my lifetime.

Six, about to be Seven

It’s 2022 in Kalispell, Montana. In the dining room, which is used loosely as a homeschool room and catch-all-for-papers -and-projects room, my mom was taking a piano lesson.  Outside the air is cool and dry, the sun bright and pure.  My other children are silently playing or reading.  “I’m going to teach you to play Chopsticks first,” …

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On Faith and Fear

My dad was projected to live into his 90s. His grandparents and parents had, and they enjoyed relative freedom until the last days or weeks of their passing. He worked at being healthy through hard physical work, regular stretching, cutting out sugar, and staying busy with volunteer work. Graduating by the skin of his teeth …

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13 months: on addiction to Facebook, not getting what we wanted, and “God is good”

On regaining control Realizing I had an addiction to scrolling mindlessly on Facebook, I decided to stop looking at it for awhile. Not only did I spend significant time mindlessly scrolling, I spent hours intentionally reading and responding as well. Sometimes periods of despondence would overtake me after I engaged in discussions that tip heavily …

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SAHM…with caveats.

I’m a nurse at a hospital where I work twelve hour shifts. Across the United States, nurses who work twelve hour shifts are considered full time if they pull three shifts a week; I generally do two shifts, sometimes three.  To most people outside of nursing, working two or three shifts a week sounds like …

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…Relationship (cont.)

Every time I post on my blog I think, “I’ll post again right away maybe even tomorrow, but for sure by next week.”  Then perfectionism and real time responsibilities step in like soldiers blocking the literal and figurative way to the computer.  Days pass, weeks pass.   Perfectionism and procrastination, really just a fear of failure, …

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